you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize