For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
