Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
