I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
