Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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