After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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