hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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