The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Mom said you looked used
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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