So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
