that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
