guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
