Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
