who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
