he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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