I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize