youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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