My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
