Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize