Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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