No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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