Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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