Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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