This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
