i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
