I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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