I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
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Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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