I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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