i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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