Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
