I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
