Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
