He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
