I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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