thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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