I have demons in me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
