Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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