Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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