We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Someone shattered a urinal.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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