How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
