he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
