Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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