i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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