cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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