she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
