I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
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You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
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My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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