Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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