i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
