Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
