Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
