how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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