Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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