i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
