don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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