just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
