ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
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We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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