He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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