no, he came in my armpit
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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