Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
