I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
