You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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