don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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