I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
