she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
