What did we do last night that was yellow?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
please don't ironically join a cult
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