so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
