At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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